He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
