drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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