My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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