She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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