if you like me you must not know who I am
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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