I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
