bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
