why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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