using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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