I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
