i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
