My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
