Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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