he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
