I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
