I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
