I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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