spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
