youre lurking in front of me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
