Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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