You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
