We named our party play list daddy issues
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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