Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
