I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
