I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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