I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
