sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
