Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
