let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
