so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
