Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
