apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Randomize
