Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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