may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
