she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
