U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
