Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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