you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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