There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
