I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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