remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
