great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
