Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
