I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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