Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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