I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
high people should be assigned attendants
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She tied me up with her honor cords...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
