dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
