My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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