puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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