i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
